My Kingdom For A Horse (1991)

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Civil War films are, to say the least, thin on the ground. So, forgive me for scraping the bottom of the barrel.

My Kingdom For A Horse was a BBC made for TV play written by John Godber. The protagonist, 31 year old, still living with his parents, history teacher Steve is played by Sean Bean. 

Steve and his best friend Pud, are pikemen in the Sealed Knot. Unfortunately for Steve, his head of department is also a member of the Sealed Knot, unfortunately he's the 'muster master general'.

With the backdrop of the Sealed Knot, Airfix 54mm ECW miniatures, and frequent references to Marston Moor, Cromwell and the New Model Army the dour Steve plods through life in a dilapidated Yorkshire secondary school.

No spoilers, but everyone who has ever taught in a secondary school will do an internal cheer when Steve has a showdown with the school bully.


There's some seriously big hair, floppy fringes, brown suits, a school held up by ACRO props (nothing changed there then).

Available in its entirety on YouTube this one might be best left to Sean Bean completists, and fans of bleak school based dramas (think Kes). The picture quality is pretty poor, but I haven't found a better quality version.

Bean fans will be comforted to hear that Sean says "bastard" several times during the play.


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